At the outset of 2011 I set the intention of being truly naked, authentic, real. Of walking my talk in all facets of my life. Transparency is a big part of this, and so, taking a big breath, here I share the inside scoop on what was going on behind the scenes of Eat Naked last year.

On New Years Eve, hubby Chef James Barry and I chronicled 2011 and realized that something life-changing and pivotal happened in all but two months of the year. I won’t bore you with all the gory details, but here are some of the most notable moments:

In 2011, I married the love of my life.

Three times.

The first time was (unintentionally) on Valentine’s Day in an LA courthouse. Unromantic and kind of funny in cowboy boots with a cupid cutout on the wall behind us, but poignant nonetheless.

The second time was in an intimate, family-only ceremony in my hometown Ottawa, so that my ailing mother could witness our vows. For many of the family members gathered, it was the last time they saw her alive. Powerful doesn’t begin to describe it.

And then a third time here in LA, with more family and our wider circle of friends, as a proper celebratory send-off to our new life together.

Ultimately, this wasn’t at all how we imagined our wedding to be (to begin with, we imagined it happening only once) but, as always with the unexpected, it was perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing.

In 2011, I launched my first book, Eat Naked

It’s hard to explain the amount of stretching and personal growth this endeavor asked of me.

From the moment I thought up the book until about two weeks before it launched, I felt with incredible (and uncharacteristic) certainty that this would be a huge success. Even though I had no experience in the publishing world, I had this deep knowing that it would give real value, maybe even change lives.

And then, two weeks before the book launched and I began my media tour, I panicked. I second-guessed every word I wrote, every moment of confidence, every strategy I’d devised. I felt (appropriately?) naked and exposed, with my face staring back at me on the book’s cover. I decided I’d been delusional to think I could do this. The shy little girl inside me balked at the TV cameras, the long list of radio interviews, all the attention. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

I think they call this the “terror barrier” and let me tell you, I hit it hard. I called many a friend in fits of gasping tears bemoaning the whole thing I’d set in motion, wishing I could somehow get off the train and make it all go away.

But of course getting off the train was not an option and all I could do was take a deep breath (or many) and put one foot in front of the other. I fumbled a few interviews, and nailed others. I learned little details the hard way (e.g.,  always bring your own water to the green room, even if it’s a big TV network). I even faced my biggest fears and did a few speaking engagements.

I grew a new patch of grey hair over those few weeks, but I survived and now am much better equipped as we head into the launch of the follow-up cookbook in a few months.

In 2011, I said goodbye to the woman who gave me life.

On July 1^st, after the exhilaration of sending off the final cookbook manuscript to the publisher’s editing team, I got the devastating phone-call that my ailing mother was heading into emergency surgery, for the second time in a week. The prognosis wasn’t good.

Within a day, I was on a flight home to Canada and at her bedside in the intensive care unit. The following 10 days were some of the most difficult, memorable, important days of my life. I read to her, I held her hand, I sang to her, I said all the things I’d ever wanted to say, and I got to say good-bye.

She left this world far too early on July 13^th, 2011. But now her pain is gone, and who can begrudge her that? It gives me great comfort to know she’s in a better place and her suffering is over.

In 2011, I discovered I am going to be a mother.

In October, my new hubby and I spent a month in Europe on our honeymoon, drinking wine, relaxing, and eating way too much pasta. It was blissful.

So blissful, in fact, that we came home pregnant.

Fitting in some ways, given the passing of my mother. Quite the cycle of life. It seems this is the year I move officially from daughter to mother, the passing of the torch. Serendipitously, my due date is a year almost to the day of my mother’s passing. Coincidence?

And so now, as we step into 2012, a whole new adventure begins:

- A new chapter in my life as I become a mother and bring this baby into the world. I’ve only been pregnant for 3+ months and already this little creature has taught me so much about surrender, slowing down, and listening to my body’s sometimes very confusing instincts. Lots and lots of fodder for future blog posts…

- A new book to launch that I co-authored with the amazing Chef James Barry.  You asked for recipes and you got ‘em! 170 gluten-free, properly-prepared, naked foods recipes from the simple and speedy to the complex and impressive. The Naked Foods Cookbook comes out in May 2012 – and is already available for pre-order on Amazon.

Looking forward into 2012 I can hardly imagine the adventures, the joys, and the challenges that await us. What I do know is that I am committed to stepping into this year with the same intention as the last: being truly naked, authentic, and real. With perhaps a little extra dose of self-care for good measure.

Thank you to all of you – friends, family, clients, supporters, readers, the whole Eat Naked family – for being part of my community and coming along for the ride. It’s my honor and privilege to share my thoughts on food, health, and life with you, and I look forward to an incredible 2012 for us all.

Related posts:

• Living 2010 fully
• Naked Living And Authenticity: A resolution for the rest of us
• Say hello to your most naked self: Lessons learned over 26.2 miles

It was a year of risk-taking. My two major goals for the year – to write my first book and run my first marathon – were daunting, and put everything else I did into focus. I honed my goal-setting and -achieving skills like never before, and was amazed at all the other gifts that flowed from such clear intention. It was truly a banner year.

And now, here I sit. A year later. Blown away with gratitude. In awe of what’s achievable when you fully put your heart out there and dare to live your dreams.

And… utterly stumped at how to follow up on such big successes.

I think of my goals for this year – Launch the first book? Yes, of course! Write my second book? Already working on it. Run my second marathon? LA, March 20th – and, great goals they may be, but somehow they don’t light my fire. Second-time around something is different.

Coming into this week I had every intention of writing about “how to make your dreams come true.” And yet all week I’ve been struggling, unsure of my own goals, writer’s block sending me deep into self-questioning. As I watched the resolution-setting support emails from other health and life coaches pile up in my inbox, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into my own little pit of despair.

I am constantly reminded that living naked is to live truly exposed, the ultimate in authenticity. (Just checking: by now you realize I’m not talking about clothes, right?) It’s not comfortable but it has its benefits. I decided to reveal a deep dark secret about myself in my book (you’ll have to read it to find out) as a direct result of the overwhelming gratitude I’d get from clients when I shared my utter human-ness with them. And connecting, as humans, is what it’s all about.

And what does this have to do with goal setting for 2011? In my struggles to find my goals and my creativity this week; in my self-doubt and embarrassment at not having it all figured out; in the anxiety all this created, I discovered what this year is truly about. It’s not the doing, but the being. Being totally authentic, naked, real. And that’s enough. It doesn’t have to be a goal, or a resolution, or even an intention.

So, if you’re struggling with what goals to set, if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with all the hoopla around resolutions, then perhaps it’s enough to just be true to where you’re at. As YOU. Because (and here’s the really cool part) just as you are, you are ALREADY enough. Resolutions set, met, or not.

Related Posts:

• Say Hello to Your Most Naked Self: Lessons learned over 26.2 miles
• A Diet or a Lifestyle? Or: Why wait until Monday?
• A Sacred Space to Honor Our Bodies

I was reminded of this by Deb Joy of Bcelebrated in a recent note she wrote to those of us doing the Year to Live challenge:

“I’ve found the best way to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary is to pay attention… What I noticed was that at all times I was surrounded by beauty. All Times! It was just a matter of noticing it. It was in nature … even in the middle of the city, it was in other people … even in the middle of a disagreement, and it was in the stillness deep inside me … even when it was buried deep beneath my busy thinking.”

On reading this, I took a moment to reflect on my experience of noticing since making the conscious decision to live 2010 fully, and yes, I really have been noticing the smaller things more.

Just the other day I ate the first strawberry of the season. I had been watching it grow and ripen out of my office window for a couple of weeks, and when it seemed so ripe it might burst, I ate it. Perfect. Juicy. Delicious. Warmed from the sun. Impossibly sweet.

And even though it was just one, it was so perfect, I didn’t want or need another. I just savored every little taste of it, taking the smallest bites, ooo-ing and aah-ing the whole time.

“But I don’t live in sunny California like you, Margaret! Here the ground is still frozen solid and the grey of winter is hanging on. My first strawberry is months away!”

Yes, it can be easier to find these little gems when the sun is shining and things are flowing. But even on the darkest day, even when it feels like nothing is going your way, there is beauty and something simple to take pleasure in nearby. All it takes is slowing down to notice it.

Take a look around yourself right now, and I’ll bet that you see at least one thing that is beautiful, that makes you smile, that gives you pleasure, and that brings you back into the present moment.

Simple, naked pleasures like this are everywhere around us. It takes little to no money, time, energy or effort; all it takes is noticing.

Practice this. Practice it often, and notice how the world around you shifts, and how your attitude about yourself and your life starts to move to the positive on a more consistent basis.

One of my life-long goals is to run a marathon. I’ve talked about doing this for years, but I’ve never successfully made it to actual race day for all sorts of reasons I won’t bore you with. This year I’m intent on reaching my goal. This being my Year to Live, my year to create legacies, I decided I want to do this for something bigger than just me and the satisfaction of running through the finish line (although from what I’ve heard, that’s quite a moment!)

With a little research, I learned of the AIDS Marathon training group. It’s affiliated with the APLA (AIDS Project Los Angeles), an incredible organization that provides food, home health care, and other basic needs to thousands of people whose lives are affected by HIV/AIDS.

So here’s the deal: I raise $2,500 for APLA, they train me to get through the marathon finish line, and together we’re doing something really powerful for people affected by HIV/AIDS, many of whom are living in poverty with few places to turn. And here’s my request of you: will you be part of this effort and support me in this mission?

It doesn’t take much. There’s no minimum donation. $5, $10, $20, $100, $250… anything and everything helps! And here’s a little carrot for one lucky person who’s been thinking of working with me nutritionally – the first person to donate $1000 to this incredibly worthy cause will receive 6 months of nutritional counseling with me, FREE OF CHARGE, and with a nice ol’ charitable tax receipt for your contribution to make it all the sweeter. Now doesn’t that sound like a good deal?

DONATE NOW

This is the time of year where we are afforded the opportunity to push the reset button and start fresh. Well, really we’re afforded that opportunity every single day, but somehow marking it with such a poignant milestone and the opening of a new calendar feels more significant. I think that’s why we’re drawn to the classic new year’s resolution.

This year I’m undertaking a challenge set out by Debra Joy and Bcelebrated.com: living 2010 as though it were my last year to live. Living 2010 FULLY, with no regrets, holding nothing back, living my dreams as though my life depended on it. Because really, it does.

When I first decided to undertake this challenge I went into a period of denial and fear. What would it mean to my business if I were really only going to live for a year? Wouldn’t this be reckless and risky? Would my relationships change? Would I choose a new lifestyle? Would I spend every penny in the bank to satisfy all my whims? And then what happens on January 1st 2011?

I decided to do it anyways, even though it felt risky and I hadn’t figured it out. It wasn’t actually until a day or two before the new year that I really took the time to assess my life as it is and then my life as it would be in the context of living for only one more year.

Here’s what I learned:

• I am living my passion every single day, and would continue to do so if this were my last year to live.
• I am surrounded by an incredible community of friends and family – some here in Los Angeles, many all over the world – and I am more keen than ever to stay connected closely with them.
• I have had an ongoing goal of running a marathon for several years now, and I realized why I never accomplished it: I focused entirely on the training PUSH, and never the deep self-care that’s a critically important part of the recovery. Just this realization alone led me to find a yoga class this weekend (I haven’t had a regular practice in almost 3 years) and I re-discovered the sheer magic of doing yoga on the beach just for the joy of doing it. I had the best practice I’ve had to date.
• When it comes to business goals, I used to put a lot of pressure on myself financially. And yet financial goals don’t motivate me because that’s not why I do what I do. When I think of a year to live, I am only focused on the people I can help, sharing what I have learned about food to as broad an audience as possible, and continuing to learn as much as I can. These are the things that propel me out of bed in the morning and this is why I built this business in the first place. How reassuring, relieving and totally joy-filled this makes my days!

It is only January 4th and I can already feel the results of living each moment with intention and choice. What would change for you if you were to live this year as though it were your last?

If this has piqued your curiosity and you’d like to learn more, visit the Bcelebrated blog to read about the inspiration behind this challenge and hear what some others are experiencing as a result.